


Roses Have Thorns, They Say

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: (Or is it?), Alternate Universe — Plants, Boone the Shipper, Drabble, F/M, Film Noir, Help, Jealousy, One-Sided Attraction, Underage Drinking, everyone is either a little shit or oblivious, that's not the weirdest set of tags i've ever put on a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another evening in the City of Flora. The Green House was packed, and the Detective and his Trusty Sidekick— er, Penn and Sashi were given the wrong drinks. When they were supposed to be solving a case. The Narrator can't wait to see what happens next...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses Have Thorns, They Say

**Author's Note:**

> i am addicted to Postmodern Jukebox  
> and tbh their cover of Just Dance is perfection
> 
> also plantywood is lowkey my fave world, ngl.
> 
> this happened somehow.

Sashi _knew_ that these weren’t the drinks they ordered. She had been wrong many times, so many times before — Sashi was glaring at the Narrator now, so he would avoid remembering her of how wrong she could be sometimes. Anyway, she was aware that she was right for once, and that these drinks weren’t what she and Penn had requested.

But whatever a fly on the rocks and ambrosia bowl was, it was fizzy and bitter and kind of good.

At first.

Penn had barely touched his drink, he hadn’t a taste for either, so he had gone off to politely ask the waiter for the proper order. Sashi, however…

...Sashi knew she done messed up.

“Shut up, Boone,” she mumbled.

The Narrator didn’t know who this mysterious Boone was, but assumed that he was a really cool guy. What The Narrator did know, however, was that Sashi regretted everything. She had so many regrets, like that one time she called Boone irresponsible—

Sashi was groaning at her table, head supported by one of her stems.

She seemed to be needing the assistance of her trusty Detective, but alas, he was missing.

“I’m fine,” Sashi growled.

 _Yeesh_. Sashi didn’t realize that she had to turn down the sass. But what Sashi also didn’t know was that Penn was backstage—

Oh, no. Sashi was smirking. The Narrator realized he had done screwed up too.

“Thanks, Boone,” she said, stumbling on her stems.

She didn’t realize how stupid she really looked — in fact, a few nice plants tried to help her, but Sashi was Sashi and so, she refused help. Even if she was drunk off her stems… leaves? One of those things. Maybe both. Sashi gave dirty looks to the nice plants, even the really cool band up onstage, before she stumbled behind the curtain.

It was dimly lit, which did wonders to her walking, _of course_. Sashi had almost walked into the wall at least three times before she found Penn … and when she finally saw him, her petals were ruffled.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Sashi muttered.

The Narrator decided to ignore Sashi’s comment on his fabulous sense of humor, and simply watched her make a complete idiot of herself as she stumbled towards Penn and his current companion, so to speak. He was beaming, giving that smile of his — The Narrator knew that smile did things to Sashi, because Sashi once told The Narrator in a moment of weakness.

Sashi growled, but it was directed at The Narrator. But Penn didn’t notice that, and continued to smile that smile of his.

“Oh, hey, Sashi!” he said. “I was just asking Orchid and her band for some tips, seeing how they were the last ones to see Big Red! Turns out—”

“That’s great,” Sashi interrupted, giving Orchid the evil eye. Or some version of it, anyway.

It kind of looked more like an evil squint. Maybe a frustrated wink. No one understood why Sashi was so disorientated, seeing how she was usually actually pretty cool. She wasn’t cool now, though. She was acting like a real loser, and The Narrator was so glad he could get away with saying this because it was true—

—and The Narrator realized everyone could hear him. So he went back to doing his job.

“Penn and I are _partners_ , flowerface,” Sashi said, in a voice she thought was a whisper. But it wasn’t. Not even close. “So, buzz off.”

Sashi also felt very proud of herself for her very bad jokes.

She was clutching the collar of Penn’s jacket, unaware of how creepy and off-putting her smile was right now. However, it seemed that no one except the Narrator thought this, and everyone read it as something else entirely.

Oh, geez.

“My, my, I am so sorry,” Orchid gasped. “I had no idea.”

Penn was very, very confused about this situation. Instead of the two beautiful flowers on either side of him, he was far more focused on the case. He really was a ‘focused’ guy, so to speak. He gave a smile — oh, come on! — and gave a thumbs up.

“We’re all good,” he smiled. “But thanks again for the tip, Orchid.”

Orchid blushed, waving a petal. “Not a problem,” she crooned. “I’ll let you two get back to it.”

She paused, eyeing Sashi up and down for a moment, before smiling.

“It really is a wonder how you deal with those, er … spikes,”

Sashi had no idea what that meant, or why Orchid winked at her. Then again, Sashi was about as ‘focused’ as Penn — The Narrator was sick of everyone being so stupid! Seriously, you guys?! Oh, wait, geez. Okay, okay, back in The Zone…

Anyway, Penn and Sashi made their way out of the swanky soiree; leaving everyone else in the Green House to party the night away. It wasn’t until they got outside did Penn finally realize what an idiot he was—

“Seriously, is there no way to shut you off?!” Penn sighed. “And what did I do?”

Penn was not aware that The Narrator isn’t allowed to talk to the characters, but instead realized that something was off about his trusty sidekick. Especially seeing how she was just about to grab his side for support — why was she unable to stand anyway?

“Whoa! Careful there,” Penn wriggled his hand into his sleeve so he could grab Sashi by the arm. “Sash, you okay?”

Due to her current state letting her true colors show, Sashi looked more like a marigold than a dandelion. She was _blushing_. Amidst her daze, Sashi did a very stupid thing and leaned up against Penn … for only a few seconds, before she yelped, and tried to furiously yank out the pricks. Unfortunately, as she tried to pry the spikes out from her stems, a wave of dizziness hit her.

...and she puked all over Penn’s stems.

Smooth move, girl. Real smooth.

“Yikes,” Penn mumbled, stepping away. “What happened to you?”

Sashi continued to play it _real cool,_ and mumbled nonsense. She caught Penn telling her to wait by the bus stop, while he went to go get her a slushie from the nearby Photo and Slush shop — he might have mentioned something about evidence too?

Who knows? Sashi sure didn’t. She was too slammered to know anything, except how really blue Penn’s eyes were, especially in the street lights…

...The Narrator was getting weird looks from Penn and Sashi so he decided to shut up now.

“Okay,” Penn said slowly. “That happened. Wait here, okay?”

Sashi nodded, clutching onto Penn’s jacket for a few moments before finally letting go and stumbling back onto the bench. She groaned, eventually leaning over to lay down and curl up in a ball. Whatever was in those drinks did weird things to her, and she was not aware that these effects would follow her back home.

But she was very aware that The Narrator had tried to help her, and it didn’t work out.

“You can stop now,” Sashi groaned, covering her face with her fedora.

The Narrator hoped that he would not be hurt when they all got back home.

It was usually a good night in the City of Flora for this Narrator, but not tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated! ^-^


End file.
